Tuesday, January 18, 2011


Salam all, ok lah memang I ni cakap tak serupa buat kan, cakap nak update blog more often but looks like kemalasan melanda juga tak habis-habis, yg pelik, nak log-in to blogspot pun like soooo the malazzz.

Today m sitting at one conner of my living room near the window with the lappy on the table, feeling-feeling macam syok pulak with the angin yg sepoi-sepoi bahasa, since the house is empty, in fact at this hr memang pun empty, the kids are at sch n huby working.  So decided to make cup of coffee n log-in to blogspot instead of FB.......hehehe

My life had changed a lot, since after the incident a yr ago.  I always tried to keep myself  as busy as possible to make sure that I live like other married woman.   And also to make sure that I look like a normal woman, bukan I ni tak normal horr, but m different now, I dont noe if people around me or who knew me noticed the changes in me, but I sure do changed a lot.  May b its not noticeable cause dari mata kasar, m still the same, m trying my very best to be the same, but only god knows how m feeling everyday in my life.  Hidup dalam ketakutan yg tiada batasan nye, feeling unreasonable every now n than, unsecured n macam-macam lagi, that is me now, how can I changed all these feelings, terasa baru jer berlaku n m still not feeling secured.

Everyday I told myself, watever had happened adelah cobaan for me, but no matter hw I tried to believe that, it doesnt seems to be true, cause to me whatever had happened adelah satu cobaan yg sangat tidak di sangkakan, and terlalu berat untuk dilupakan thou I knew it takes time to heal, but can it heal, which I doubt so.  I do believe in miracle that one day I will forget, but to wait for that day to come, its really torturing my mind every single day in every breath that I take. Its pathetic right, but believe me its hw I felt right now n at times I felt like running far away, but where to, dreamland lah agaknye.

Days, months passed by without anyone noticing it, if I ni popular actress I think I can win the dramatic queen award :):)

Well, like I said, life had changed, we are one family again, full of fun and laughter, thanks to Allah for all this.   Without failed I prayed to Allah to open my heart and mind, lead me to the correct path to keep this family together, insyaallah, aminnnnn.......

Wowwww this is panjang lebar kan, m sory, I hv to shout somewhere, cant do it at Fb, so di sini jugak lah tempat I mengadu dan merintih.  At last blog Moralle ni jadi sasaran.

I think I better stop here cause if not berjela n berpanjangan my rintihan hati ni, lets just c when will be my next entry, ariossssssssss to all dearies and luvlies who still visit my blog :):)