Monday, November 4, 2013


Assalammualaikum to all my dearest bloggers frens and yg mostly already in my FB :):)...selamat menyambut tahun baru untuk semua, semuga di tahun baru ini kite akan di beri hidayah dan di berkati kehidupan kita, In Shaa Allah.

Life was tough...very tough for me thou, things change for the best, I do hope so and hoping that my life di tahun baru ini akan lebih bermakna dan akan mendapat ketenangan yg sewajarnye.

Miss my life, life yg once upon a time was a cheerful woman, tak kenal erti marah, tak kenal erti benci, and all of a sudden, I became a woman yg sangat-sangat pemarah dan pembenci. But Alhamdulillah semua yg berlaku ada hikmahnye.  Penghijrahan yg baru ini amat menenangkan hati dan memberi keyakinan pada diri sendiri. I felt awesome with the changes walaupun di kritik, di hina but I am so positive, tomahan yg diberikan begitu tidak bermakna and the best is to ignore.  I managed to hold the anger yg sangat menyakitkan hati, alhamdulillah.

The only resolutions I have in my life now is to be with my kids, to give them all the love that I can selagi masih bernyawa di bumi Allah ini. To always be there for them...we are going to be alrite, we are going to be fine, everything is going to be fine...In Shaa Allah. They are everything I have now in my life, no matter how hard it is, we are going to pull through.

OK for now, there are things to settle that need to be settle, will be here again when time permits and if jari jemari ini tidak malas untuk menaip dan brain ini tidak malas untuk berfikir apa yg harus di ceritakan.

Assalammualaikum :):)

Thursday, May 16, 2013


Now u see u don't.....haiii m like a biscuits kan, kejap ada kejap tak der.

Really blogging ni dah macam malas lah pulak......almost everyday at FB till blog tak berupdate n dah macam tak bertuan.

I have realized ramai jugak my frenlist at this blog yg lama jugak tak update eh...dah berhijrah ker FB :)

So don't say I don't follow....I did...but at FB, hehe.

Penantian satu penyiksaan.  Satu penyiksaan bagi setiap individu yg akan melalui process penukaran kehidupan.  Hrmmm macam mana pulak kan.....well process yg amat sensitive yg semua wanita tak mahu melalui nye, but disebabkan keadaan, terpaksa jugak di laluinye walaupun pahit dan perit.

It has been almost 8 months, things still have not settled.   It takes too much time to settle this, but well itu lah procedure nye, we have to go through stages before the whole process is done with.  So waiting n waiting lah, and while waiting there are so much hurting also that we have to go through.  When both party cant compromise, its definitely not going to be easy.

And when the other party started to provoke you in many ways, you hardly cant control yr anger and patience.  But Alhamdulillah I managed even thou darah dah naik sampai kat otak ni.  But m still cool lah sebab nye I don't want to create any issues before semuanye settle dengan selamat.  I rather keep my distance and act I don't care or hell care.

Its not easy, I can tell you its torturing, only those yg ever melalui process ni jer yg tahu hw it felt.  Like me jugak, dulu when gfrens went through this process I only know hw to kasi pendapat jer, but when I went through it myself, ya Allah macam gini rupanya keadaan dan reality yg harus di hadapi.

M really hoping that everything can be settled in a proper way without any issues atau pertelingkahan, it involves so many people in our life, so it has to end in a proper way....In Shaa Allah.

Till then, till we meet again here in this blog of mine...ASSALAMMUALAIKUM

Tuesday, February 19, 2013


Assalammualaikum............been sometimes since I update this sweet little blog of mine.

Firstly, I have shifted back to Singapore, due to why....oh myyyyyyy I cant tolerate the massive jams at the Causeway no more...2 yrs are enuf for me and the kids.  Life was great 2 years ago and we managed, but after 2 years the kids start to scream at me every now n than, cant have their free lifestyle when they are in SG and yahhh Aqil, his educations, drop drastically.   Thats the main reasons why I shifted back.  Hopefully In Shaa Allah things will change, of course the gurls are now very happy to be back and was hoping Aqil will get back on track on his study. All are settled with the house, back to normal life here in SG with everything very expensive horrrr...haha..well In Shaa Allah will manage.

My life...I have been tested over and over again.  What I went through is very common in marriage life but how u handle it is the main issue here.  Yes we are tested, can we handle it....its always the 1st, 2nd and 3rd chances given in whatever happened.  Once you broke your promises it will never be easy to gain back the trust that you had broke.

It has never been easy for me for the past 3 years, yes to love back someone that you cherished so much in your life after you had been betrayed.  I managed when it happened once, twice and thrice, thou its so hard, harder than I had expected it to be.

And after all the sacrifices that I had done, its all gone to waste.  I ask myself.....what do you really want from me and our marriage, and I know there will be no answer to it.  What I had always scared of is happening again, and its really torturing my minds till the end of it.  I have become a woman that has no pity on a bitch like her and my feelings to forgive and forget are gone with my anger.  DONT you deserve this???? yes I should say u deserved it.

On the other hand, I will leave to Allah for what is going to happen after this, M leaving it to fate, only fate will tell us if we shall be together again or vice versa.

As for my feelings, its all gone, its gone like 3 yrs ago, n till today I cant even have a glance on you...its better if M not having you in my life at all ':(

Oppssss time to go, In Shaa Allah will write again, take care all...luvvvv.