Assalammualaikum............been sometimes since I update this sweet little blog of mine.
Firstly, I have shifted back to Singapore, due to why....oh myyyyyyy I cant tolerate the massive jams at the Causeway no more...2 yrs are enuf for me and the kids. Life was great 2 years ago and we managed, but after 2 years the kids start to scream at me every now n than, cant have their free lifestyle when they are in SG and yahhh Aqil, his educations, drop drastically. Thats the main reasons why I shifted back. Hopefully In Shaa Allah things will change, of course the gurls are now very happy to be back and was hoping Aqil will get back on track on his study. All are settled with the house, back to normal life here in SG with everything very expensive horrrr...haha..well In Shaa Allah will manage.
My life...I have been tested over and over again. What I went through is very common in marriage life but how u handle it is the main issue here. Yes we are tested, can we handle it....its always the 1st, 2nd and 3rd chances given in whatever happened. Once you broke your promises it will never be easy to gain back the trust that you had broke.
It has never been easy for me for the past 3 years, yes to love back someone that you cherished so much in your life after you had been betrayed. I managed when it happened once, twice and thrice, thou its so hard, harder than I had expected it to be.
And after all the sacrifices that I had done, its all gone to waste. I ask myself.....what do you really want from me and our marriage, and I know there will be no answer to it. What I had always scared of is happening again, and its really torturing my minds till the end of it. I have become a woman that has no pity on a bitch like her and my feelings to forgive and forget are gone with my anger. DONT you deserve this???? yes I should say u deserved it.
On the other hand, I will leave to Allah for what is going to happen after this, M leaving it to fate, only fate will tell us if we shall be together again or vice versa.
As for my feelings, its all gone, its gone like 3 yrs ago, n till today I cant even have a glance on you...its better if M not having you in my life at all ':(
Oppssss time to go, In Shaa Allah will write again, take care all...luvvvv.