...TERHARU...

Monday bz as usual, my bluesssss started after reading my boss emails. Not 1 or 2 but a list of it, to do list, urgent list and its all from the big boss ):

So since morning I ws bzinggggg doing what the big boss wants following his list one by one. Now almost done 1/2 of it.

Why I felt so terharu???? while I was doing my work, my handphone rang. The no. was not familiar but I still answer the call.

"Assalammualaikum ibu" the voice sounds very familiar........
"Waalaikumsalam" saper ni...............
"Ini busu lah ibu"........(busu is my husband youngest sister, all my ipar duai address me as ibu, caused my kids panggil I ibu, they all prefer to call me that supaya lebih mesra)

Than she cried, I terus tergamam not sure why and furthermore I macam shocked to received her call.

Ade masaalah peribadi yg I cannot elaborate here cuma memang me and my in-law family not in good terms. I dont know where it all started, but I knew I dah menjadi menantu yg terbaik dan kakak ipar yg terbaik, tapi tetap jugak di pandang serong pada mata mereka. I sanggup bergadai nyawa dan harta demi mereka but still.........its very difficult for me to elaborate here but sesungguhnye ALLAH tu maha mengetahui segalanye. Walau ape pun balasan yg I terima from them I redha kerana I tahu satu hari nanti pintu hati mereka akan terbuka dan melihat kebenaran, insyaAllah.

Back to my youngest sis in-law, we were in talking terms 1 yr ago, but I'm not sure how and why it happened, she made me very angry dengan menipu I during Hari Raya last year, in-front of me she was so nice to me and behind me she 's the same with her other sister that I hv not been talking with for so many years. But sincerely I hv no regrets not talking to my other sis in-law, caused she is someone yg tak mengenang budi, she deeply hurt me n her brother (my hubby) times and times again. We are always there for her but she never ever once jaga perasan me and my hubby, she never appreciated it. We gave up on her, me and hubby cuma berharap that one day she and her husband will sujud depan us and mintak maaf..............

Mungkin ini dugaan for me and hubby untuk menghadapi manusia seperti ini. Walau apepun I still respect my MIL and FIL and slalu mendoakan yg terbaik untuk mereka walaupun mereka selalu menyalahkan me and my hubby. Kami slalu berdoa agar satu hari nanti my MIL and FIL di beri petunjuk oleh ALLAH swt, di mana mereka akan tahu yg mana benar dan yg mana tidak, insyaallah.

I selalu berdoa supaya kami sekeluarga akan bersatu lagi seperti dulu. Sumtimes rasa sedih selalu menghantui my life, but hubby slalu beri perangsang to me walaupun yg melakukan ini semua adalah darah daging dia sendiri. Tak putus-putus I berdoa setiap mengerjakan Sholat supaya keadaan akan menjadi seperti dulu lagi. I missed them thou and I missed all my anak2 sedara sebelah my hubby, mereka semua dah besar2 sekarang. And I'm also sad caused my kids kehilangan kasih-sayang makcik2 nyer and also their atok and nenek.

I told my sis in-law just now to call me back tonight caused I m soooooo bz with my work and hopefully all will be ok for me and her, for the time being.

Mungkin ini semua berkat bulan Ramadhan and my doa's yg tak pernah putus2 untuk mengembalikan my sis in-law and my parents in-law back to me, walaupun mereka menyakiti hati kami sekeluarga but still kami tak menyimpan dendam walaupun hati kami terluka dengan perbuatan mereka terhadap kami. Me and hubby telah menyingkirkan perasaan marah dan dendam itu jauh dari lubuk hati kami kerana kami mahukan yg terbaik untuk semua, lebih-lebih lagi untuk my hubby, supaya dia kembali mesra with his adik beradik kerana dia adelah anak yg tua dalam keluarga.

Betapa tersiksanya batin I bila membuat entry ni, I hv to stop here, my eyes are filled with my warm tears now, batal pulak puasa nanti, mudah-mudahan semuanyer akan berakhir di AIDIL FITRI nanti, insyaAllah